BARACK OBAMA PICKS LOUIS FARRAKHAN AS RUNNING MATE

Barack Obama and Louis Farrakhan share a smile

"YES I CAN!" (steal the title of Sammy Davis Jr's. book)

A PAID POLITICAL ANNOUNCEMENT BY SEN. BARACK OBAMA (D- ILL)

My fellow Identity-Americans.

As your future president I want to thank my supporters, for their... well, support.

Your mindless support of me, despite my complete lack of any legislative achievement, my pastor's relations with Louis Farrakhan and Libyan dictator Moamar Quadafi, or my blatantly leftist voting record while I present myself as some sort of bi-partisan agent of change.

I also like how my supporters claim my youthful drug use and criminal behaviour somehow qualifies me for the Presidency after 8 years of claiming Bush's youthful drinking disqualifies him. Your hypocrisy is a beacon of hope shining over a sea of political posing.

I would also like to thank the Kennedy's for coming out in support of me. There's a lot of glamour behind the Kennedy name, even though JFK started the Vietnam War, his brother Robert illegally wiretapped Martin Luther King Jr. and Teddy killed a teenage girl. And I'm not going anywhere near the cousins, both literally and figuratively.

And I'd like to thank Oprah Winfrey for her support. Her love of meaningless empty platitudes will be the force that propels me to the White House.

Americans should vote for me, not because of my lack of experience or achievement, but because I make people feel good.

I say things that sound meaningful, but don't really mean anything because Americans are tired of things having meaning. If things have meaning, then that means you have to think about them.

Americans are tired of thinking. It's time to shut down the brain, and open up the heart.

So when you go to vote in the primaries, remember don't think, just do. Gaze down at the punch card and say, "YES I CAN!

And do it for me.

Thank You.

Vote Obama / Farrakhan in '08!

Nurse admits stealing body parts from 244 corpses

PHILADELPHIA - A nurse admitted Wednesday he cut body parts from 244 corpses and helped forge paperwork so the parts, some of them diseased, could be used in unsuspecting patients.

Authorities say nurse Lee Cruceta was the lead cutter in a group that trafficked in more than 1,000 stolen body parts for the lucrative transplant market.

He pleaded guilty to conspiracy, taking part in a corrupt organization, abuse of a corpse and 244 counts each of theft and forgery. Cruceta, 35, also has pleaded guilty to related charges in New York and negotiated pleas to serve concurrent sentences of 61/2 to 20 years. He is expected to testify against the other defendants, and won't be formally sentenced until those cases are resolved.

Several funeral directors have pleaded guilty in New York, and the accused ringleader Michael Mastromarino, 44, is being held in the case. Three funeral directors in Philadelphia have pleaded not guilty and are awaiting trial.
Assistant Philadelphia District Attorney Bruce Sagel told a judge that Mastromarino also is expected to plead guilty. The timing of his plea was uncertain. His lawyer, Mario Gallucci, earlier told The Associated Press that Mastromarino plans to tell prosecutors about the companies that bought the stolen specimens. Mastromarino, a former oral surgeon, paid funeral directors $1,000 per corpse, then sold the parts to tissue banks, Sagel said. The body parts fetched up to $10,000 apiece, though the tissue banks resold them to hospitals for many times that amount, he said.

Prosecutors believe Mastromarino, employing several teams of cutters, took in $6 million to $12 million since 2001. "I think the concern is Lee Cruceta has been placed, in some ways, on an even footing with Mr. Mastromarino, who has millions of dollars," defense lawyer Mary Maran said.

The body parts were used in disk replacements, knee operations, dental implants and other surgical procedures performed by unsuspecting doctors across the United States and in Canada. About 10,000 people received tissue supplied by Biomedical Tissue Services. Among the bodies looted was that of "Masterpiece Theatre" host Alistair Cooke, who died in 2004. Cooke's daughter and relatives of the other deceased people say they never authorized any donations.

Oprah Winfrey proposes legislation to change the name of planet Earth to planet Oprah.
The slogan: " Oprah's Head... The Final Frontier"

Pair wheel corpse to store to cash check
By MARCUS FRANKLIN, Associated Press Writer

NEW YORK - Two men wheeled a dead man through the streets in an office chair to a check-cashing store and tried to cash his Social Security check before being arrested on fraud charges, police said.

David J. Dalaia and James O'Hare pushed Virgilio Cintron's body from the Manhattan apartment that O'Hare and Cintron shared to Pay-O-Matic, about a block away, spokesman Paul Browne said witnesses told police. "The witnesses saw the two pushing the chair with Cintron flopping from side to side and the two individuals propping him up and keeping him from flopping from side to side," Browne said.

The men left Cintron's body outside the store, went inside and tried to cash his $355 check, Browne said. The store's clerk, who knew Cintron, asked the men where he was, and O'Hare told the clerk they would go and get him, Browne said. A police detective who was having lunch at a restaurant next to the check-cashing store noticed a crowd forming around Cintron's body, and "it's immediately apparent to him that Cintron is dead," Browne said. The detective called uniformed New York Police Department officers at a nearby precinct.

Emergency medical technicians arrived as O'Hare and Dalaia were preparing to wheel Cintron's body into the check-cashing store, Browne said. Police arrested Dalaia and O'Hare there, he said.

Cintron's body was taken to a hospital morgue. The medical examiner's office told police it appeared Cintron, 66, had died of natural causes within the previous 24 hours, Browne said.

"He was deceased in the apartment when he was removed by these two," Browne said.

Dalaia and O'Hare, both 65, were being held by police and faced check fraud charges, Browne said. A call to a telephone number listed for Cintron at the apartment he shared with O'Hare went unanswered Tuesday evening. Police said they didn't have an address for Dalaia or attorney information for him or O'Hare.

Click here to watch video

Orange County sheriff indicted
The Associated Press

SANTA ANA, Calif.—Orange County Sheriff Michael S. Carona has been indicted on federal corruption charges, and is accused of using his office for financial gain, prosecutors said Tuesday. The 10-count indictment, unsealed Tuesday, contends the sheriff, his wife, an attorney and two other associates schemed to get Carona elected so they could use his office to enrich themselves. The two others, former assistant sheriffs Don Haidl and George Jaramillo, have pleaded guilty to related charges in the probe. U.S. attorney spokesman Thom Mrozek says Carona, his wife Deborah and the attorney, Debra Hoffman, are expected to surrender to federal authorities on Wednesday. Carona's criminal attorney, H. Dean Steward, told The Associated Press that he had not been contacted by the U.S. attorney about any charges, sealed or not.

The beginning of the end. Sheriff Michell S. Carona meets Girls and Corpses teammates
Robert Steven Rhine and Hollie Stevens ("Clown Porn") at Regional gathering of Mensa --
where all three were featured speakers.

12TH NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD
is a huge success in NY. What a concept!!
Photos by Tony KnightHawk

Take My Love Doll... Please!

GCN News (China Bureau): In the Eastern province of Chaka Khan, father/daughter career day at Ho-Chin-Min Grammer School took a dark turn when unemployed chicken farmer Chin-Choo-Ling brought his love doll, Bai-Ling, to his daughter's class and explained how it works, "When he's lonely and needs relief." Chin-Choo was just about to demonstrate the love doll's working orifices, when teacher Dim-Sum Fung interviened and beat Chin-Choo to death with a blackboard eraser.

CBS Necrophilia PIlot 'Babylon Fields' dies an early death.

Girls and Corpses is ahead of its time again. CBS, the catatonic network, responsible for "Murder She Wrote" had tested a Zombie-Necro series called Babylon Fields. G&C checked out the pilot and we feel this one should stay buried. It stunk worse than Pavoroti in a car trunk. And the makeup! Holy maggots, did they go to a high school makeup class? They didn't even bring the makeup down the necks of the zombies. Better idea -- kill the producers of this pilot and use them for the show. Check it out for yourself

GNC News (Atlanta) - The FDA has recalled the popular at home face peel called Super Deep Cleanse, after some users experienced some side effects. A typo was discovered on the box instructions, which were supposed to read: "Leave on face peel for five minutes." Instead the instructions read: "... leave on for five days."

THE CHURCH GIVES TWO THUMBS (WAY UP) UP TO ANAL SEX AND FISTING BEFORE MARRIAGE!

Anal Sex in Accordance with God's Will

Are you saving yourself for your wedding night? The Devil wants you to fail, that’s why he puts stumbling blocks in your way. But God wants you to succeed, and that’s why he has given us an alternative to intercourse before marriage: anal sex. Through anal sex, you can satisfy your body’s needs, while you avoid the risk of unwanted pregnancy and still keep yourself pure for marriage.

You may be shocked at first by this idea. Isn’t anal sex (sodomy) forbidden by the Bible? Isn’t anal sex dirty? What’s the difference between having anal sex before marriage and having regular intercourse? Let’s address these issues by debunking some myths about anal sex and God's will.

“I thought the Bible said anal sex was a sin.”

This is a common misconception. Anal sex is confusing to many Christians because of the attention paid to the Bible’s condemnation of homosexual acts. However, it’s important to realize that these often quoted scriptures refer only to sexual acts between two men. Nowhere does the Bible forbid anal sex between a male and female.

In fact, many Biblical passages allude to the act of anal sex between men and women. Lamentations 2:10 describes how “The virgins of Jerusalem have bowed their heads to the ground,” indicating how a virginal maidens should position themselves to receive anal sex. Another suggestive scripture tells of a woman’s pride in her “valley” (referring to her buttocks and the cleft between them) and entices her lover to ejaculate against her backside: "How boastful you are about the valleys! O backsliding daughter who trusts in her treasures, {saying,} ' Who will come against me?' (Jeremiah 49:4) And in the Song of Songs, the lover urges his mate to allow him to enter her from behind: “Draw me after you, let us make haste.” (Song of Solomon, 1:4)

“Isn’t anal sex dirty?”

The Bible says, “To the pure, all things are pure.” (Titus 1:15) The Lord created your body, and no part of it is imperfect or unclean. God also created our bodies for pleasure, and anal sex is just one of the many ways, including standard sexual intercourse, that we can enjoy this pleasure and share it with a partner.

Although the anus is used for elimination, in reality it is not as dirty as you think, especially after a shower or bath. Elimination is also a natural process of our God-given bodies, so our conception of the anal area as dirty has more to do with our own psychological hang-ups. If the idea of direct contact with this area is still distasteful to you, the male can wear a condom as a barrier

“If you’re going to have anal sex, why not just have regular sex?”

This is a good question: If you’re going to have sexual contact before marriage, why not just go the whole nine yards and have regular sex? There are many good reasons for having anal sex instead. The first reason is practical: having conventional vaginal intercourse can lead to unwanted pregnancies. While it’s true that the Lord bade us to “be fruitful and multiply,” (Gen 1:22) the Bible also counsels that “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” (Ecl. 3:1) Pregnancy outside of wedlock can have dire and life-altering consequences for all those involved. Having anal sex allows you to greatly reduce this risk.

Second, for a young woman who has never engaged in sexual intercourse, having anal sex allows her to preserve her virginity (i.e., maintain an intact hymen) until marriage. There is no greater gift that a bride can give than to offer her pure, unsullied maidenhead to her husband on their wedding night.

Finally, anal sex allows both partners to save the most intimate and powerful sexual act, that of face-to-face vaginal intercourse, for their mates in marriage. This type of sexual relationship represents the most powerful union between a man and a woman, and so it rightfully should be reserved for one’s life partner. Fortunately, you can engage in anal sex prior to marriage and still be able to share the deeper, more meaningful act of consecrated love through vaginal intercourse with your wedded spouse.

Fisting and God's Will

The sex act called fisting is a source of confusion and misconceptions for many Christians. This is unfortunate, because it means that many Christian men and women are depriving themselves of what could be the most spiritual sexual experience of their lives. Like anal sex and BDSM, fisting is often mistakenly associated with the gay community or is considered a sex act too extreme to be appropriate for Christian couples. Not only are these views incorrect, but fisting actually has a scriptural precedent, as we will show.

The Fist of Might

Over and over in the scriptures, the hand and fist of God are described as a symbol of His awesome power and the means through which this power manifests: "O God, God of our ancestors, are you not God in heaven above and ruler of all kingdoms below? You hold all power and might in your fist.” (2 Chronicles 20:6) Of course, the Old Testament often makes reference to God smiting his enemies with his fist or striking down the wicked with his hand, but it is also the means through which he administers his blessings and benevolence to the righteous: ”You open Your hand and satisfy the desire of every living thing.” (Psalms 145:16) Through the hand of the Lord, he guides us to do his will, touches our lives, expresses His love, and provides for our needs with His abundance.

The biblical significance of the hand is important, because in the act of fisting, one partner (usually male) inserts his entire hand and fist into the vagina or rectum of his partner. Rather than copulating with his penis, he penetrates her with his fist. Given the powerful symbolism of the fist, it is no surprise that couples who have partaken in the practice of fisting have described it as being a profoundly spiritual experience. On a symbolic and sexual level, a wife who is fisted by her husband has the experience of surrendering completely to the divine love and power of the Lord, as embodied by her partner’s hand. The husband in turn has the experience of touching and caressing her inwardly, in such a deep and intimate manner as God touches our own souls with His grace.

Powerful Yet Gentle

In the Song of Solomon, the Bible describes the act of fisting and the profound erotic bliss it induces: It is the voice of my beloved! He knocks, saying, "Open for me, my sister, my love, My dove, my perfect one”…My love thrust his hand through the opening, and my feelings were stirred for him. (Song of Solomon 5:2-4) Here we see the lover gently coaxing his companion to open up to him, metaphorically “knocking at her door,” preparing her sexually and emotionally to receive his hand inside her. Gradually he works more and more fingers into her, until the moment when her vagina yields and his hand slips fully inside her, thrusting “through the opening.” She then describes the powerful passion that this arouses in her as she envelopes his entire hand inside her body. Many couples describe this moment, as the fist makes full penetration into the vaginal opening, as transcendent and a sexual revelation. As the woman’s body accommodates her husband’s hand, both may experience a sense of physical, sexual, emotional, and spiritual oneness.

Some common misconceptions about fisting are that it is very painful or that it is somehow violent or abusive. This is far from the truth, and as we can see from the above description, it can be a gentle, loving, and highly erotic act. Fisting does not have to be painful if it is performed correctly, using enough lubrication and patience. The hand is inserted in a slow and controlled manner, and is preceded and followed by other sexual stimulation which may lead to orgasm. Both the vagina and the rectum are extremely elastic – a vagina, after all, can stretch to accommodate a full-term baby. And in fact, a woman who has been blessed with motherhood can more easily enjoy fisting because her vaginal opening is more flexible.

The act of fisting is physically challenging to perform, requiring patience on the part of the active partner, and relaxation on the part of the receiving partner. It cannot be rushed, and the two participants must communicate closely, with the fister carefully observing and attending to his partner’s comfort and limits, and the fistee directing her partner as to when to push forward and hold back as he works his hand into her. A Christian couple can use fisting to build trust and intimacy between them, as well as strengthening their relationship with the Lord.

Fisting as an Act of Faith

Before attempting fisting, a Christian husband and wife should pray together and ask for divine guidance. The husband should ask that God guide his hand and work through him, and for the skill and patience to fist his wife correctly and maximize her pleasure. The wife should pray for openness and readiness to receive God’s love and grace in the form of her husband’s hand.

Both should treat the act of fisting as a divine spiritual mystery to be entered into with reverence and awe, especially the husband. In another spiritual interpretation of fisting, as he inserts his hand into his wife’s vagina, a man is symbolically re-enacting the moment of truth following Christ’s resurrection from the tomb, when Doubting Thomas touches the wounds in the Savior’s flesh: Then He said to Thomas, "Put your finger here and observe My hands. Reach out your hand and put it into My side. Don't be an unbeliever, but a believer.” (John 20:27) Thomas’ doubt would not be satisfied until he physically felt the wounds in Christ’s body and penetrated His flesh with his hand. Likewise, the spiritual and sexual power of fisting cannot be known unless experienced physically.

Role Reversal

So far we have only discussed a husband fisting his wife, but some couples may wonder if it is appropriate for a wife to fist her husband if he enjoys anal stimulation. In most cases, a wife indulging her husband’s desire to receive light anal play is not problematic in the context of a healthy sexual relationship. A wife may even anally penetrate her partner with a strap-on dildo if he enjoys this, and if their respective roles as husband and wife are secure outside of the bedroom.

However, because of the intense nature of the act of fisting and the degree of surrender and submission involved in being fisted, a couple should first look deeply into their own hearts and pray for guidance as to whether it is wise for the wife to fist the husband. They should undertake this only if their relationship is such that the husband can assume a submissive and passive role during a sexual act, while afterward still maintaining his role as the spiritual head of the household and leader in the marriage. Our article on Christian BDSM also addresses this issue.

More info here: www.sexinchrist.com

Conjoined Twin Dumplings

GCN China - They say they'll eat anything from the street vendors of Xingping China: Rats on a stick, fried cockroaches, baby seal pops, kitten custard, chocolate covered dog vomit, now is born this newest street food delicacy... conjoined twin dumplings.

"Very gud... very fresh... fiftee dolar!" hollars vendor Sam-Was-No from behind his creeaky wooden cart swarming with maggots which he grabs and pops them in his mouth like raisins."

We ordered a set, er... a pair... of dumplings and sat on the spit streaked sidewalk and ate a conjoined twin on a stick. It was moist and tender and smoky and tasted like, well... like chicken. We can't recommend this for everyone, and the cost makes it prohibitive for many but if you've got an open mind, mouth and wallet, and don't mind chewing on someone's offspring, you might give it a shot.

But this leads us to wonder, what's next? Feces on a stick? Has China reached their limit of gastromonical consumption. Stay tuned.

The Cannibal Food Network
'Austrian cannibal prepared body for eating'
By Tim Clark and agencies

A homeless Austrian accused of murdering his vagrant flatmate and cannibalism had apparently prepared his alleged victim's body parts for eating, Austrian police have said.

Robert Ackermann, a 19-year-old German from Cologne, was arrested after he was found next to the mutilated body of Josef Schweiger, a 49-year-old Austrian, in a subsidised flat the two shared, provided by social aid.

Achermann - who police say may suffer from mental problems - was staying in a flat with Mr Schweiber that was provided to people with mental difficulties for whom other kinds of care had failed.
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When Ackermann was found he had blood around his mouth and parts of the victim's tongue and brains had been prepared on a plate in the next room, police said.

Ackermann, who is detained in a Vienna court, refuses to talk and has only answered questions on where he hails from, said Mr Gerald Hoebarth from the Austrian criminal police.

Mr Schweiber appeared to have been killed by a 10-kilogramme (22 pounds) dumbbell which cracked his skull. The body was slashed "from the throat to the genitals".

Although the autopsy revealed that "there was no removal of organs from the breast and stomach area," investigators said they "cannot yet exclude" that the suspect had eaten parts of his victim.

The press also cited neighbours who described Ackermann as a violent man who had had several arguments with his flatmate, and reported that even police officers were shocked by the bloody crime scene.

"I have seen a lot in my life, but nothing like this," one officer told the Austria Press Agency.

Skull Fucking BIll -- Passes Congress

Click on the pic for the Congressional Hearing:
Photo by Diana Price

OBESE WEIGHING HEAVILY ON MORGUES
COFFINS TO BE SUPER-SIZED

(AAP) EXTREMELY obese bodies are becoming a safety hazard in mortuaries, according to pathologists who are calling for new "heavy duty" autopsy facilities as Australians get fatter.

Forensic scientists say they are struggling to cope with a growing number of morbidly obese corpses that are difficult to move and dangerously heavy for standard-size trolleys and lifting hoists.

The bodies presented "major logistical problems" and "significant occupational health and safety issues", the specialists have cautioned.

Mortuary workers are adding their voices to concerned calls from crematorium and hospital staff about infrastructure that is unsuitable for the growing number of very fat Australians.

Statistics show 3.2 million people are already obese, with the number predicted to climb to 7.2 million in less than 20 years. The number of obese and morbidly obese bodies handled by a typical mortuary has doubled in the past 20 years.

In a recent study, a third of 255 bodies examined in South Australia were obese.

A further 6 per cent were in the extreme range. "This study demonstrates that forensic facilities are now dealing with individuals of considerable body mass," University of Adelaide pathologist Roger Byard wrote in The Medical Journal of Australia.

Mortuary equipment was not designed to take such weights, and the faster putrefaction and "skin slippage" of bigger bodies made them even more difficult to handle, Professor Byard said.

He said specially designed mortuaries would soon be needed if the nation failed to curb the fat epidemic.

Washington
Websters dictionary expands the definition of "boner" to include this photo:

:

GCN NEWS FLASH:
Los Angeles (GCN) - Paris cries as she's taken back in handcuffs to jail... to face the soap.

The Motorcycle Die-ries
'Moto-hearse' begins service

ERDA, Utah (AP) -- Scott Bodell has a hearse for motorcycle enthusiasts on their last ride.

Bodell built a two-wheeled hearse that holds a casket while being towed by a three-wheeled Harley-Davidson. "It's not unusual to hear people say, 'That's how I want to go,"' Bodell said. Indeed, A.J. Dawson saw the hearse while it was parked outside Tate Mortuary in Tooele. "I ride motorcycles and I love it," he said. "For bikers, it's all about the ride, so this is the perfect way to go." The cost for a "moto-hearse" service is $565, plus mileage charges in certain areas. For people who prefer cremation, the hearse has a bumper sticker that says, "We'll haul your dead ash." Bodell said it took 10 months and $20,000 to build it. Brian Wadsworth saw the hearse and didn't seem enthusiastic. "I've always associated motorcycles with fun and vibrancy, so I guess it's sort of a paradox," he said.

(Los Angeles) Rob Zombie's corpse walked off the set of a Girls and Corpses shoot today after eating the craft service worker -- who he assumed was the lunch. Rob's wife Sheri Moon Zombie persued the corpse for several miles in heels but couldn't keep up. Authorities in several states have been alerted and a 25,000 reward has been posted for the capture of Zombie's... er... zombie.

BUTTAFUOCO ON ICE

Long Island - Joey Buttafuoco, 53, and Amy Fisher, 32 have signed with The Ice Crapades to recreate their turbulant relationship in a poignant ice folly bizarre titled, "When Hell Freezes Over." Following their harrowing love story, "from blowjob to bullet and back again," the volitile couple have squeezed into leotards (Joey's 4XL) and are rehearsing for their skating debut. Buttafuoco and Fisher will be playing themselves and are not intimidated by their non pro status on ice. Buttafuoco commented, "I have skated by my whole life... belllllch... so wha'da-fuc."  Amy playfully punched Joey in his beer gut and said, "It is my dream to once again twist and twirl under Joey, as I did as a toddler."  Call to order now at Ticketblaster. Extension 666. (Ask for Mary Jo).

Rats eat corpse in hospital's morgue
Who said Hospital food doesn't suck!

THE wife of a man whose corpse in the San Fernando mortuary, is believed to have been was bitten by rats, is threatening legal action against the hospital's administration for neglect of her husband's body. A bereaved wife — Cynthia Garcia-Ragbir, 34, of Piparo, told the Newsday that the episode has left her traumatised.

Edwin Ragbir, 36, died at his Light Foot Trace home after he succumbed to cancer on April 24. His body was taken by Amours Funeral Home to the mortuary in what wife Garcia-Ragbir described as "good condition."

Garcia-Ragbir claimed that last Friday, a day before her husband's burial, personnel at the mortary telephoned her to discuss a "slight problem" with the removal of her husband's corpse.

She said that on the same day, she along with her husband's aunt, Chan Ragbir, visited the mortuary. Garcia-Ragbir said that the funeral home responsible for his burial, had refused to take away the body from the mortuary unless relatives saw its condition.

The sight of her husband's body, Garcia-Ragbir said, left her very disappointed.

The griefstricken woman said, "Not because people are dead it means that they should be neglected. They are humans also."

Eventually, she added, Dass Funeral Home took Ragbir's body and he was buried on Saturday last.

When Newsday contacted the hospital yesterday, an official said that they were unaware of the incident and preferred not to comment until a letter of complaint is filed by the deceased relatives.

LONDON (Reuters) - A passenger in first class woke up to a shock when he found himself sitting near a corpse on a British Airways flight, British newspapers reported on Monday.

Paul Trinder, 54, said cabin crew moved the body of the elderly woman from the economy section where she had died after take-off, the Mirror and Sun tabloids said.

"The corpse was strapped into the seat but because of turbulence it kept slipping down on to the floor," Trinder, a businessman, was quoted as saying. "It was horrific. The body had to be wedged in place with lots of pillows."

The woman's daughter was also upgraded and spent the rest of the nine-hour flight from Delhi to London grieving next to her dead mother, the Sun reported.

The Guardian newspaper said the incident happened last week.

British Airways has apologized for any distress suffered, according to the reports. The Mirror quoted BA as saying: "We apologize, but our crew were working in difficult circumstances and chose the option they thought would cause least disruption."

Morgue Necro-Panty Thief Caught with Pants Down

©girlsandcorpses.com

Petaluma CA (GCN) - Police found more than 600 pieces of port mortem lingerie stolen from a morgue in Petaluma California. It appears that the morgue worker would undress the corpses and steal their panties and underwear, sometimes wearing them for months at a time, His job at the county morgue gave him unfettered access to ladies undergarments, which were removed and were supposed to be disposed. "This is very distressful. I have been crying and vomiting for forty-seven hours," said morgue supervisor Anita Stiffy.

Police believe that Richard Hardener, 53, stole and wore 397 pairs of dead ladies panties, 152 bras and 6 pairs of stockings over a three-year period. He was arrested in June after he removed underwear from two bodies in morgue drawers and was caught on surveillance video putting on the underwear and masturbating while singing a Celine Dion medley.

"Since he was a county morgue worker, the suspect would wait for fresh female corpses and then undress them at night. He didn't damage the bodies in any other way," a police spokesman commented," though his signing could have woken the dead.

Corpsy Reporting

The Bride Wore Black

Woman weds corpse...

AHMEDABAD, India (Reuters) - An Indian woman, despairing over her lover's accidental death when he fell down a well soon after their engagement, insisted on ceremonially marrying his corpse just minutes before the cremation.

"It was for just few minutes the girl was dressed as a bride and then as a widow," K.M. Kapadia, a police officer in the town of Anand in western Gujarat state, said on Saturday.

Wedding attendees sat the corpse up by a fire, the traditional center of Hindu wedding ceremonies, and chanted some marriage prayers before cremating the body, police said.

"The girl refused to give away the body of her lover for the cremation till she tied the knot with him," Kapadia said.

The bride's parents opposed the marriage but later attended the wedding ceremony and gave their 22-year-old daughter Tulsi Devipujak clothes and utensils as gifts, according to the Hindu tradition.

And they deliver in twenty minutes or the second ear's free!

Body parts delivered to Michigan home

The Associated Press

CASCADE TOWNSHIP, Mich.- Two packages containing human body parts—including a liver and part of a head—meant for a medical research lab instead were delivered to a home.

The body parts, sent from China, were mistakenly dropped off Thursday at Franck and Ludivine Larmande's home by a DHL express driver who believed the bubble-wrapped items were pieces to a table. "My husband started to unwrap one and said, 'This is strange, it looks like a liver,'" Ludivine Larmande said. "He started the second one, but stopped as soon as we saw the ear.

"Something wasn't right. It was scary, and I'm glad I didn't open them."

The couple called Kent County sheriff's deputies, who determined the preserved body parts were for medical research, Lt. Roger Parent said.

Authorities believe 28 more bubble-wrapped human organs and body parts could be dispersed across the country, The Grand Rapids Press reported. Two of five packages headed to the northern Michigan lab broke open, scattering their contents.

"There will definitely be a shock to people if they see these things, but there is no hazard to health," Parent said.

DHL is investigating whether it should have shipped the body parts and how the packages were dispersed, spokesman Robert Mints said.

GCN News HOT FLASH

Jesus's Tomb found under Ann Nicole's house in Bahamas

Could be worth billions! Who will get the tomb? Everyone scurries back to Florida Court.

Yes... it sounds crazy but it's true! And just in time for for the upcoming ABC Special movie: "Howard K Stern -- American Judah." The tomb of Jesus Christ is rumored to be under the bathroom floorboards of the Bahamian house where Howard K. Stern is now hiding -- and he is holding it ransom, saying, "Jesus left it to me. Try and prove otherwise."

Also, rumor has it that Baby Danielle was born by Immaculate conception and that Ann Nicole was actually a virgin -- contrary to popular lore -- and the men lining up to grab Kings Marshall's Ransom.

In related news, Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband Price Charmless has claimed that the tomb is actually an old cigar box of his -- and that he fathered the holy father in a drunken fling.

Meanwhile, James Cameron has sent divers under the house and is shooting his latest documentary, "I'm The King of The World -- Not Jesus Dammit -- Me!!!"

Reporting from Jerusalem -- Corpsy.

Turin hospital cash for corpses scam

By Nick Pisa in Rome

Italian police have arrested 10 medical staff at a Turin hospital on suspicion of taking payments from undertakers for supplying them with corpses.

Doctors and nurses at the Molinette Hospital allegedly received sums of up to €10,000 (£7,000) for contacting selected funeral parlours when patients died in their care. Payments are believed to have been made on a sliding scale according to the wealth of the deceased, in anticipation that richer families would spend more on a send-off.

An investigation, code-named Caro Estinto, or Dearly Departed, was launched by police after they were contacted by undertakers outside the corruption ring who had noticed a marked drop in business from the hospital.

Colonel Carmelo Cesario of Turin police said: "We launched an investigation after a tip-off from informers, but it had also been noticed that the same firms were always being used.

"Once a patient at the hospital died, they would immediately call one of the funeral firms and tell them. The wealthier the deceased, the more they would be paid."

Roberto Scotti, of the Giubileo funeral parlour, which was among those who complained to the police, said: "We would get calls from the other hospitals in the city, but nothing from the Molinette, so we decided to call the police."

Col Cesario added: "If the person who died was a drug addict or homeless then it was worth only €500 to the mortuary staff as their funeral would not be expensive.

"However, they could make €750 if the deceased was wealthy, as they would want a more elaborate funeral with flowers and a nice hearse, which was more expensive."

As part of the three-month operation, officers planted listening devices and cameras in the hospital's morgue and staff rooms and also in the elevator used to take dead patients from the wards.

Pictures from secret cameras showed how money changed hands. One exchange took place over the body of a dead patient.

As part of the scam, doctors and nurses allegedly allowed employees of the funeral parlours into the mortuary and gave them white coats, so they could break the news of a loved one's death to relatives and then suggest a burial company.

Police estimated that the corrupt employees were making more than €5,000 from the hospital's average of 10 deaths a week.

If they are convicted of bribery and corruption, the medical staff could face a minimum of five years in jail.

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