Girls and Corpses Magazine is ever scanning the globe to bring you in-depth stories that other newspapers and magazine may step around like a steaming pile of poo. But we're not afraid to get our shoes dirty.
So, we just literally gushed when we met two of the most famous twat faucets in the biz, Crystal and Lexi, stars of Squirt Hunter Volume Three
From Pink Productions.
G&C: Ladies, welcome. When I first heard "Squirt Hunters," I thought it was a movie about about girls searching for short men. What is a squirt hunter? And is a spear involved?
Crystal: A squirt hunter is a guy or a girl who likes women who excrete vaginal liquids when they orgasm... not to make it sound dry and boring (sic!)
Lexi: And there usually is a spear involved!
G&C: Do you feel like you're going to squirt right now? Should I step back?
Lexi: No, not right now. It's not like farting or burbing...
G&C: And If you were going to squirt right now, about how far could I be standing away and still get spritzed?
Crystal: You would need to leave the room.
Lexi: Most definitely.
G&C: How were your grades in school?
Crystal: You mean like high school? I did average.
Lexi: I got an A+ in PE!
G&C: Did you ever squirt in gym class?
Lexi: How do you think I earned my A?
G&C: Can you make a good living squirting? Better than working at Walmart?
Crystal: Oh yes! There are a lot of people out there that like women who can squirt. It seems to be all the rage right now.
Lexi: Yea, even some of the bigger stars are getting in to the squirt scene. With a little training any one can squirt, but it's the naturals who do it the best.
G&C: When you say big stars I'm assuming you mean Julie Robert's and Cameron Diaz.
Do you have squirters union? Squirt insurance? Squirt disability?
Crystal: Well, not specifically for squirters, but the adult industry does take care of its own.
Lexi: Squirt disability? Isn't that a hand job?
G&C: Good one. What other type of porn have you appeared in beside squirting and how long have you been in the adult biz?
Crystal: I have done some gonzo work before the studios decided to spot light my natural abilities. I have worked in the adult biz for about two years now.
Lexi: I started with squirting videos from the beginning. I was dating a casting director and came all over him one time and I could see the dollar signs in his eyes. This was only my third DVD!
G&C: You soaked the casting couch,. What was it like appearing in your first "squirt" film? Were you so nervous you could pee?
Lexi: It's funny that you say that as I did have to piss a lot before the set. I don't know if it was nerves or the large OJ I had for breakfast.
G&C: What does your squirt fluid taste and smell like? Have you ever cooked with it? Can you get out stains with it? Wash your hair? Brush your teeth? Wax your car?
Crystal: Decidedly floral. I haven't used it on a paint job but I've armor'alled a few back seats!
Lexi: Tastes like semen but with out the edge.
G&C: Does your squirt come in lemon-lime flavor?
Lexi: Yea, when I'm drinking tequila!
G&C: Could your fluid be beaten stiff like egg whites into a meringue?
Lexi: I like to beat things stiff!
G&C: If there was an Iron Chef competition and the secret ingredient was vaginal squirt fluid, what would be your top 3 dishes?
Crystal: Egg drop soup, eggs Benedict and basted sausage all made with my own special ingredient!
Lexi: <Giggling> I'd make a milk shake with it!
G&C: Who would you describe your love fluid? Viscous?
Crystal: Warm and creamy.
Lexi: I describe it as simply hot... fucking hot.
G&C: What's the difference between semen and vaginal squirt?
Crystal: We don't really need a class in the birds and the bees now do we?
Lexi: Why? What is the difference anyway?
G&C: Which is the one with the babies? Anyhow, how do most men react when you first squirt on them? Elated? Shamed? Nauseous?
Crystal: Depends on the guy, but most guys don't even notice. I guess that's a sad statement on sex in America...
Lexi: I've only had one guy who freaked out and we were both a little young at the time.
G&C: I think that's called soiling your diaper. How can I tell the difference between a girl faking that's she's squirting though actually peeing?
Lexi: Oh, you'll know. The smell for one, the color also and pee comes out with a lot more force.
Crystal: If you can't tell, well...
G&C: Would you describe yourself as multi-orgasmic? How about multi-grain?
Lexi: I have always been considered a little granola.
G&C: What makes you come the quickiest? Is it a Lamborgini?
Crystal: No, an Aston Martin.
G&C: If there was a fire and you were the only one who could save a group of people in a burning elevator -- could you squirt on cue?
Lexi: If it would save my ass, I could probably do just about anything on cue!
G&C: If I was dying of thirst the desert, could you squirt in my mouth and revive me?
Crystal: Yup and from six feet away!
G&C: Suddnly I'm feeling thirsty. How popular are squirt films? More popular than say Nascar?
Crystal: I'd say they were on equal footing, both in terms of popularity and audience.
G&C: Could they be combined into women racing around a track ejaculating. I think our readers would pay to see that.
Do you think we'll ever see squirt films at the local mulit-plex? Wht not?
Lexi: Well, I know that a lot of stuff trickles out of the adult industry and makes its way into the main stream consciousness but I can't really see squirting being the cause of death on CSI or anything like that.
G&C: Too bad -- it'd make a great episode. Someone could sllp in your puddle and die. Squirt-I-cide.
What star would you most like to squirt on? What star would you most like to squirt on you?
Crystal: I would love to squirt all over Sheri Moon Zombie! You interviewed her didn't you?
Lexi: I would love to squirt on Matt Damon.
G&C: What President would you most like to squirt on?
Both Girls: Bill Clinton!!! He is sexy!
G&C: Are you afraid that as you get older you won't be able to hold your squirt and have to wear Depends for ex-porn squirters?
Crystal: Actually no, squirting really trains the muscles down there! If anything I think I will be one of the few in the retirement home not having to wear adult diapers!
G&C: What turns you on?
Crystal: Intelligent women.
Lexi: Nice penises and Matt Damon. Do you think he has a nice penis? I do.
G&C: I haven't really thought a lot about Matt Damon's penis.
Speaking of that -- What turns you off?
Crystal: Men with beer bellies.
Lexi: Excess body hair...
G&C: Of well, I guess Ron Jeremy is out.
What turns you upside down and backwards?
Crystal: Did I mention the Aston Martin?
Lexi: Did I mention Mat Damon?
G&C: Most embarrassing on screen porn moment?
Crystal: I was in a scene once with this one guy that I think they didn't tell him he was going to be in a squirt scene as when I came he just really was surprised. He thought I was injured or something.
G&C: What is it about porn that attracts you? Is it the money -- or something else -- like the benefits?
Lexi: The money is nice, but I also enjoy the people. The porn world is a close knit family.
Crystal: The money, the hot sex...
G&C: How is your sex life off screen? Does squirting play a large role in your lovemaking?
Lexi: Squirting doesn't play a big part in my sex life off screen. In many ways my relationship with my boyfriend is very traditional. He needs to get off, I bend over... no squirting...
Crystal: It does if the lover I'm with at that moment is any good.
G&C: Would you like to see squirting as an Olympic event?
Crystal: I'm not too sure about the Olympics, but it would be nice if there was an official squirt off or something.
Lexi: Yea, maybe a Guinness World Record Contest or something?
G&C: I'll make some calls.
How would you like to be remembered on your tombstone?
Crystal: I'm not sure about my tombstone but I think it would be great to have a fountain installed above my grave an eternal life of little squirts!
Lexi: 'Never Stop The Flow!'
G&C: I know... I'm standing in your puddle.
For more liquid on Lexi and Crystal go to Pink Productions (18 and older only)